Gone From Me

gone from me
Daily Post

dementia

Far, far away is my love of yesterday

Her body is still here, her mind is still at home too. When she talks to me now it is like she addresses a different man though, raising her voice, it is hard to describe. She will raise her vioce and use a sarcastic tone of voice while making conversation over simple house hold tasks. She does not seem to realise this. If I comment about why the harsh tone of voice? I am shouting and not understanding what she said, it all seems to get turned around at that point.

I can’t just ignore her we live and survive together. These changes seem to be getting worse. She will ask a question to me from a different room, when I don’t hear it, the race is on! She has used this loud, defensive, tone for many months now, it is hard to imagine. This is something she does not realize doing. I am afraid she has no idea that she is doing it. Trying to talk to someone in a different room is difficult under the best of sircumstances, hearing loss just compounds the problem. I better work on an intercom system.

She has cooked her whole life and is a a licensed chef. In the past year almost every thing that she prepares has new ingredients added to them. If I comment, “you never put muschrooms in your oyster stew before, as an example.” She replies, “I most certainly did.” After grocery shopping in the past she would put thing away as soon as we got in the house. Recently she will start reading the mail or doing a crossword puzzel while the milk and everything sets on the table.

She is cold all the time because she takes blood thinners. The thermostat will get turned to high many times a day. I have to keep turning it back down or the place would be unbearably hot. She still sleeps most of the time because of the heat.

Lights left on, doors open, drawers open, shoes scattered about, burned pans, these are daily routine things. She takes many medications and is on oxygen 24/7. That alone, or old time dementia could be the cause for her confusion, alzheimers sounds far to drastic. This looks like the previews of things to come, I hope it is all family rated.

 

 

Far, far away is my love of yesterday
And she’s gone, gone, gone, gone from me, from me
Far, far away is my life, my love, my way
And wonder, where, where, where, oh, where can she be?

Days endless, days nights, dark
As may lonely, I’m lonely where can she be?
Far far away is my love of yesterday
Wonder, where, where, where, where, where, oh, where can she be?

Far, far away

Songwriters
GIBSON
Read more: Don Gibson – Far Far Away Lyrics | MetroLyrics

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4 thoughts on “Gone From Me

  1. Such a tender and heartbreaking essay, Leland. Writing was how i got through nursing my husband as well. Your bravery in writing about this truthfully is to be congratulated and I’m sure it will be helpful to others.

    Like

  2. Pingback: NaPoWriMo – Day 9 – “Every Dawn You’re Surprising” by David Ellis | toofulltowrite (I've started so I'll finish)

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