The Jiffy Plumber

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The Jiffy Plumber

Bob, the kitchen sink faucet is leaking. The water is dripping down into my tote box full of cleaning supplies, please fix it. Do you mean now, this is Sunday night? Yes,”I mean now, you will be at work tomorrow.” OK, I will have it fixed in a jiffy.

I will go get my tool bag, bring me one of the small sofa cushions. I will have to lay on my back and work with my arms and hands in the air to reach the pipe fitting, can’t lay on that hard sink cabinet. I will also need something for light, it is too dark to see the pipes good. Betty I can’t see anything up above, bring me that small table lamp, plug it in by the toaster. Great I can see real good now.

I will just turn this fitting about a half a turn and it should be just fine, Oh-oh that didn’t work, it seems to be leaking worse. I better tighten it just a little bit more,”oh crap.” Betty,” I just broke the pipe fitting, there’s water squirting all over the place. The water instantly busted the hot bulb in the lamp. BETTY, WHERE ARE YOU ? I’m in the bathroom. What are you doing there? You had to go?

GET OUT HERE, I’m being electrocuted! That lamp has me cornered like a Cobra, if I try to move the electricity from that broken bulb tries to bite me on the arm. Hurry up and get in here, pull the plugin out of the wall and pull that lamp out of here.

I can’t shut the water off, the dummy who put these faucets in didn’t put shut-off valves under the sink. Betty says, “You’re the dummy Dear, the one that put in the faucets” I’ve got to get downstairs quick and shut the water off, this is ridiculous. Why me all the time, Murphy’s Law rules my life.

He got the water shut off to the kitchen sink. We got water all over the floor down there even in the furnace room. Bob asks, “Why did you ever decide to carpet that other room?” Don’t blame me for carpeting mister fixer, you’re the master plumber around here. Now you have ruined a new sofa cushion too.

Bob says,”Well at least you have water in the bathroom.” Betty, “Joy oh joy isn’t that just great.” We’re going to live with this mess now until we get someone to come in and clean it up on Monday or later.”You and your Jiffy jobs drive me crazy, Mister Good Wrench.” Bob says,”That’s the auto mechanic.” I am your Roto Rooter Man. Shut it up Bob.

“How about some jiffy popcorn to help make things right?”

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